Singing and dementia

Singing and playing the guitar was one our family’s happy places when I was growing up.   And it remained with mum and dad’s dementia, although for dad more so in his earlier years of dementia.   Dad was no longer able to play the guitar with his dementia, but he was happy for me to pick it up and play. I reconnected with all the old songs I sang in my childhood, and reignited old memories for both mum and dad.  Dad would sometimes start talking about his days living on a boat singing in English pubs with his brother, or mum would talk about her days singing in a choir in Switzerland and how she also played the flute.  They would both come ‘alive’ and they were really happy in these moments. 

Research repeatedly shows that singing lights up our emotion and memory centres of the brain, and if it’s the right song, it can bring back connection, happiness and a sense of self.  Mum and dad’s emotional reactions to their beloved music is vividly explored in an astounding and heart-moving documentary called “Alive Inside” where people living with dementia came ‘alive’ when they hear their favourite music.  The camera shows us how much music has “capacity to awaken our souls and uncover the deepest parts of our humanity” and “how its healing power can triumph where prescription medication falls short”.  

I have met a number of people living with dementia where I couldn’t understand much of what they said, but when they sang their word pronunciation was as clear as a bell, and they seemed to come ‘alive’.  This is because in some dementias, especially Alzheimer’s disease, the right temporal lobe is largely unaffected, which is crucial part of the brain in recognising melodies and rhythm. 

I have learnt over the years of being in the world of dementia that the most well-known and loved song of the current older generation is ‘You Are My Sunshine’.  I would recommend trying this song as your first choice to engage as many people as you can.  

One word of warning; for some people living with dementia a certain song can unfortunately evoke sad and distressing memories or feelings in that moment.  For example, when dad was in the rest-home and pining for mum (as they weren’t able to live together), I vividly remember dad responding to me singing ‘You Are My Sunshine’ with the words “there is no sunshine here for me”; in that moment he felt his loss and grief.  Always gauge the person living with dementia’s response to any song, and be willing to say “I’m sorry”. 

I reckon the best thing about singing is that it’s free, you can do it anywhere and at any time.  And with mum and dad’s dementia, we could repeat the same songs over and over (my repertoire was a bit limited!) and they were none the wiser.  I learnt to be OK with this repetition because I reaped so many benefits; not just from singing but also the connection, happiness and love that we experienced together. 

In the moment, music somehow managed to bring two different worlds back together again.