Embracing false teeth

In my younger years, my parents were a constant source of embarrassment, as most parents are.  As I got older, I thought nothing could now embarrass me.  But mum defied all odds and took embarrassment to another level.

With mum’s dementia came her incredible ability to poke her false teeth out every 20 seconds.  I kid you not!  I believe it soothed her, and apparently her father did the same with his dementia.  Over her 13 years of dementia, I can recall only a handful of times when she lost her teeth, often at the most unfortunate times.  Usually at the dinner table with guests, or in a café toilet.  It was such a habit, she poked them out everywhere – in town, at the supermarket, at social gatherings, at the dinner table.  It was so normal for her, I don’t think she realised what she was doing. 

Most people were amazing with mum, and just accepted her, teeth and all.   But for a number of years, I was embarrassed to be seen with mum poking her false teeth out.  I would often apologise in advance, or tell mum to “put her teeth back in”; I was generally annoyed with her behaviour.  We tried everything to make her stop!  We went through a stage of using denture adhesive.  If we could get mum to put her teeth in without her spitting them out and saying “they taste disgusting”, the adhesive would only last until around midday.  Right on cue for lunchtime!  We gave up in the end because the routine and taste often stressed her out. 

We had an incredibly understanding dentist who had a great sense of humour; he was amazing with mum!  When mum would ask him multiple times, “what are you going to do to my teeth?”, he would reply “I am going to screw your teeth to the roof of your mouth”.  We would all then dissolve into stitches of laughter.  In the end the dentist asked if we could bring mum to see him on Friday afternoons because she made his week.  And no, he never got mum to keep her teeth inside her mouth; he embraced them instead!

Through all this mum was never fazed, she really didn’t care.  One day I finally got the lesson she was trying to teach me; being your genuine and authentic self is what attracts people to you.  I learnt to embrace mum’s teeth, it became so ‘normal’ to me that I didn’t even see them anymore.  Instead, I was able to focus on mum’s heart, gratitude, fun for life and the ability to touch people in the simplest and kindest ways. 

I never thought that mums’ teeth would teach me such a valuable lesson.  Thank you mum.